Hidden from Light
by MS
Summary: AU, SxS...Sakura is the mistress of the powerful Syaoran Li. Problem is that he’s already married... and not just to his job. Things always go from bad to worse though... OneShot, drama, angst, depression with happy ending.


MS 

This is a one-shot. It's different from everything I've written up to now, as I'm trying to incorporate a bit of drama and angst. I hope you somehow enjoy it.

SUMMARY: Sakura is the mistress of the powerful Syaoran Li. Problem is that he's already married... and not just to his job. Things always get worse though... Each part after the song lyrics happens either later in the day, or at some later date.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the card captor Sakura characters… or the Sting song Stolen Car… I've borrowed the song to illustrate a part of the plot in this one-shot as if served as inspiration… everything else is mine.

-

-

**Hidden from Light**

-

Sakura groans as the light flickers over her closed eyelids. The sensation pulls her under. Her hands grab for the covers, pulling hard to cover her head as she starts to awaken. She turns from side to side, yawning slightly as her eyes finally open over the line of the linen.

She was alone once again. The bed empty but rumpled to show that she had not been alone the day before. He had left her sometime during the night to go back to his house and his other life.

_-  
Late at night in summer heat. Expensive car, empty street.  
There's a wire in my jacket. This is my trade  
It only takes a moment, don't be afraid  
I can hotwire an ignition like some kind of star  
I'm just a poor boy in a rich man's car  
So I whisper to the engine, flick on the lights  
And we drive into the night  
-_

She turns on the stove, her hands groping for the pan as she prepares a omelet for breakfast. As she passes by the fridge for the bread to toast, she grabs the orange juice.

She reaches for a glass from the cupboard and rinses it out. On her way to the table, she turns on the radio on the kitchen counter. She spends so much time in the kitchen making the extravagant meals that she was taught to do in her chef training, that just having some music in the background is a welcome respite to the lull of the television set on in the living room. She could never actually hear the programs anyway.

It flares to life on the last station she had left it. The light and slow melody filling the quiet room, the words ringing through her still hazy mind as it perused through the words it sung.

_-  
Oh the smell of the leather always excited my imagination  
And I picture myself in this different situation  
I'm a company director, two kids and a wife  
I get the feeling that there's more to this one's life  
There's some kind of complication, he tells her he's alone  
Spends the night with his lover, there's a trace of her cologne  
And the words of his mistress, as she whispers them so near  
Start ringing in my ear  
-_

Her hands grip the glass steadily as her own body starts to wade back and forth. The smell of burning metal fills her nostrils as the pan simmers the vegetable oil she had just coated it with.

She braced herself for the impulse to turn the switch off. A strangling laugh emerging from her closed throat as her fingers curl against her palm. The hoarse sound prompting a chocking sensation that filled her eyes with moisture, her fingernails digging into the skin, leaving their imprint in the soft flesh.

She'd heard the song so many times now; it seemed to be really popular at that station. She couldn't figure out how it continued to numb her senses every time the beat rang softly against her ears.

The song replayed in her mind as she allowed herself to turn off the radio, turning off the stove until she could compose herself to the task at hand. It's a good thing she didn't allow herself to listen to anything while she cooked for her restaurant during her shifts.

Her brimming tears overflowed, making a lone line from her eyes to her throat. The soft moisture trickled down her smooth cheeks, the sensation of its trail following her neck and disappearing in between the valley of her breasts.

She was so far gone into this hole, that there was no way to dig herself out of it. It shouldn't have started in the first place, but she had been weak.

She was sure that she was only supposed to be a conquest. Maybe a one-night stand, which seemed to be the style he preferred his other women to be. Still, he kept returning for more, and she kept opening her arms and let him bury his troubling life against her warmth.

He would reseal his sorrows, leaving during the night, turning back to his life as if the stolen hours were nothing but a dream that would fall into fantasies that could be recalled during the day. In turn, she just continued to mount her own troubles on herself.

She was the mistress that offered comfort and companionship when he required it. His other life involved his wife and the expectant child that was about to be born.

It was not a good life to lead.

Everyone knew what she was…

_-  
Please take me dancing tonight  
I've been all on my own  
You promised one day we could, its what you said on the phone  
I'm just a prisoner of love always hid from the light  
Take me dancing, please take me dancing tonight  
-_

"How are you today?" Tomoyo asked as she met her best friend for their usual lunch. They were both so busy with their perspective companies and businesses, that they had made an appointment for the same time and same day for every week.

There was only so much that you could say over the phone as you're strapped for time. The worries of their businesses could be put to rest for two hours once a week as their friendship is restored.

"Fine," Sakura softly answers as her hands grasp the glittering wine that swings on her cup.

They were at one of the upper scale restaurants that occupied the area, the workers and waiters acknowledging their presence because of the regularity of their visits and of the table.

They smiled at one another as they started to eat the light salad that had been placed before them as they waited for their plates. They always asked for something different, making sure to try each of their pieces to select the favorites that excited their palate.

"How's the Thing?" They had decided to use the word for the debacle that was the clandestine relationship Sakura was having with Syaoran Li. He was one of the most prevalent men in the business world, and therefore the city.

"Like always," she responded, her thoughts going back to the scenario that had occurred just a few hours before in her kitchen. In the end, she hadn't been able to prepare anything, opting to a long soak in her bathtub as she reminded herself of all the things she had to prepare for. She had many prevalent clients dining this evening; she couldn't afford to loose herself to the depressions that were slowly mounting over her shoulders.

"You can't stay like this," Tomoyo informed her. She knew that Sakura realized her position as she let her expression show the smile that was reserved for her stupidities.

"I know that," Sakura sipped the wine, letting the soft liquid clamor her taste buds. It softly trickled down her throat as her thoughts drifted to nothing.

Tomoyo changed the subject to the usual things that they usually discussed, her eyes registering that her friend wasn't truly listening to a word she said. Still, it was the only thing she could do at the moment to soothe the problematic topic that was her relations with the business icon that was Syaoran.

Tomoyo knew him from her circles as well. There was something to be said to being born into wealth as she had been. She had prospered on her own though, earning her right to being with the movers and shakers that she constantly came in contact with in her line of work.

"I'm thinking of making another line," she interrupted her friends' thoughts as their plates arrived with a smiling waiter.

"Of what?"

"I'm going to need you again for my muse," Tomoyo warned as she took a bite of the masterpiece she had ordered. "We'll get together the next time you get some time off. I'm going to need to see you for a whole day for what I have planned."

"I'll try," Sakura joined her, her appetite returning, her problems evaporating as they launched into a discussion on the new line that the famous designer Tomoyo would launch upon the unsuspecting masses.

_-  
I imagine his wife, she don't look nothing like a fool  
She picks the kids up from some private school  
She remembers what he told her, he was late and worked alone  
But there's more than a suspicion in this lingering cologne  
And the kid's just won't be quiet and she runs a traffic light  
And she drives into the night  
-_

She walked into his office, his secretary buzzing her in. There was no reaction to seeing her once again. There was nothing in her gaze to give away any type of apprehension or rumoring thought that had to do with her visit.

"Hi," Syaoran looked up from the proposal that was in his hand as she slipped through the door and slowly approached his desk.

Sakura looked at the office she had been countless of times before. Nothing had changed. The same colors littered the walls, the same books were packed in the bookcases, the same pictures filled the inner wall behind him.

The only that claimed the attention of her eyes was the one in the second row from the left. It was him, with his wife. She had meet Meiling in different occasions, and such a sad existence she couldn't compare it to.

Meiling was in love with her husband, and hoped that building a family with him would somehow capture his affections from everything else that consumed his life.

Sakura was a better realist in life.

She knew that he had married her because they had been betrothed since they were children. Their families had wanted a union to completely merge their different empires, and both of the children had resigned their selves to the fate. Meiling had fallen in love with her fiancé though, and that's what made her life such a sad fate.

Syaoran didn't actually stay true to his vows though. Sakura knew that she hadn't been the first woman to lie beneath him since he had married over two years before.

"I came to tell you of a change of plans," Sakura slid into his lap, the papers lying forgotten over the monogamy desk as his hands came to rest around her waist.

They talked for a bit, their schedules merging and changing as their discussion continued for several minutes. Plans were cancelled and remade, their lips seeking one another as their closing bodies came to life under the contact.

"Milanda," Syaoran called his secretary over the phone.

"Yes, sir," her very trained and unemotional voice filling the intercom system.

"Make sure that I'm not disturbed," he informed her before closing the channel and locking the door from his seat.

Sakura continued to straddle him, the straining erection of his pants rubbing against her nub. Just this once, she told herself as his hands rummaged through her clothing, coming bare under his gaze.

"Just this once," she whispered to herself as his mouth closed over her uncovered nipple. Somehow being here, in his office, revealed her to the light.

_-  
Please take me dancing tonight I've been all on my own  
You promised one day we could, it's what you said on the phone  
I'm just a prisoner of love always hid from the light  
Take me dancing, please take me dancing tonight  
-_

Sakura shakes from slumber as the ringing phone awakens her senses. It didn't sound like the phone by her bed. It had a distinct ring.

"Hello," Syaoran answered his cell phone, which he had placed by the nightstand in case it rang. He always tried to answer it before she woke, but it was to no avail. Sakura awoke to any type of ringing sound, unless she had just dropped off into sleep.

"What?" Sakura could hear the garbled speech that left the mouthpiece of the small device.

He looked panicked, rushing from the bed to his discarded clothing while still hanging onto the cell phone. His clothing was in his person in less than two minutes, disorienting Sakura to the happenings that were occurring in her own bedroom.

"I'll be right there," Syaoran closed the phone as he searched for his watch and tie.

"What happened?" Sakura kept the linen against her chest, covering her naked form. Her eyes were now wide open as she searched for the switch that would flood the room with light.

"Meiling has gone into labor," he told her, placing a light kiss over her forehead before running towards the door. "I'll call you in a few hours."

All her mind could process was the slamming of the door that signaled his escape.

Sakura felt frozen and stiff. She couldn't move from her position.

He was going back to his other life. To his wife. To his unborn child. "Here I am, in a stolen car, at a traffic light." The words reverberated over and over in her thoughts. She felt sick.

The control to her body returned as she felt a bile substance rise from her stomach, rushing toward her mouth. She stripped the cover from herself and ran toward the bathroom. Her eyes watered as her ears were filled with the sound of her retching.

Her nostrils flared as the smell reached her. Her hand felt for the top of the toilet, flipped the switch and let the vomit flush into oblivion.

Her body stretched over the cool floor, the feeling of sickness still deep within her. "Oh god," she let out as she curled into herself. Time slipped by as she tried to tell herself that this was what she was in the end. She was the mistress, and Meiling was the wife.

_-  
So here I am, in a stolen car at a traffic light.  
They go from red to green and so I just drive into the night  
-_

"I have to go," Sakura said to Tomoyo as she watched the embers die slowly in the fireplace. She had come to visit her friend as they had finished the last sketch that Tomoyo needed to finish her new line of designs.

"You're not going to tell him?" Tomoyo simply asked as she filled a plate with different crackers that they could nibble on while they conversed.

"How can I?" Sakura responded as a wild laugh escaped her throat. Her throat strangled on the last, her eyes watering slightly. Her lips were still turned upwards, as if in a smile, while her whole expression revealed a very different picture.

"You're going to have his child Sakura," the words stilled the atmosphere. Tomoyo sighed loudly as she rubbed her temple.

"You don't understand," Sakura's fingers played with the MP3 player/radio that she always managed to have with her. The screen flashed as she searched blindly for her tormentor. She upped the volume, the song mingling within the otherwise quiet background.

"I'm never going to be more than the respite between the sheets. I'm the lover that opens her arms every time he comes searching." Sakura rubbed her chest furiously, trying to control the ache that was currently breaking her heart. "I'm just a shadow in his life."

"That's not true," Tomoyo reached for her hands, lending her support as the tears started to fall. "He doesn't treat you like a kept woman."

"Of course not," Sakura laughed again, trying to keep herself from crying further. "I just open my legs every time he comes around and don't even get paid for it."

"You love him. If he had tried to support you in any way you would have thrown him out on his ass."

"Maybe he should have," Sakura brought her hands to her stomach, soothing the jumping sensations that traveled all over her skin. "Then I wouldn't have stolen what little expression of affection he had for Meiling."

"You're not to blame for that," Tomoyo tried to recall how many times she had said that to her friend in the last week.

"Yes, I am."

_-  
Please take me dancing tonight I've been all on my own  
You promised one day we could it's what you said on the phone  
I'm just a prisoner of love always hid from the light  
Take me dancing, please take me dancing tonight  
-_

The chorus filled the room as Sakura cranked up the volume. "It's so stupid." She reached for one of the crackers laid out before her to nibble on. "My life is a joke," she elaborated, knowing that Tomoyo would listen to her ramblings. "How can one song reflect my life?"

Tomoyo had enough sense to know that this question was rhetorical. Sakura wasn't expecting an answer, as she supplied them to herself at least once on the hour for each day.

"What are you going to do then?"

"I'm going to leave the country for a while," Sakura recalled the image that had haunted her dreams since she had received the news.

It was her face. Her eyes. The flash of recognition when they had stumbled over one another at a restaurant.

Rumors always followed the powerful. And they usually came to be truth in the end.

Sakura and Tomoyo had gone to a new restaurant for their usual meeting. As they stood from their table to return to their hectic lives, she had entered. Meiling walked behind a waiter, one of her friends and cousins at her side.

They had stood almost in shook as everything around them had dissipated into nothingness. Sakura had stopped breathing. Her eyes zeroing into Meiling's rounding belly. It had been the only time that they had actually come almost face to face. It had been enough for Sakura to realize that Meiling knew who she was.

She had also realized what she had become.

"He knows something's changed," Sakura let her fingers play around with the device once again, turning down the volume. Still, the words and melody continued to play in her mind. "I'm going to accept the temporary relocation I was offered. I'll probably wait quite awhile before I return."

Tomoyo smiled at her reassuringly, placing a hand on her friend's back, rubbing soothingly as if to vanish the pain that could not be reached.

"If I tell him the truth, then he'll just be overloaded with more problems. There's just so many things that a human mind can take in such a short period of time. The death of your wife and child is enough to drive any sane man into despair." Sakura shook her head as she took deep breaths to control her rapid heartbeat. " I just want out of his nightmare."

_-  
Please take me dancing tonight I've been all on my own  
You promised one day we could it's what you said on the phone  
I'm just a prisoner of love always hid from the light  
Take me dancing, please take me dancing tonight  
-_

"I believe it has been crowned as a success," the friends gushed over the phone.

"I'm glad," Sakura rubbed her belly, her knuckles plying over the stretched skin as she oversaw the work of her staff. The restaurant had already closed for the night, but the cleaning duties were also overseen by her. There was nothing worse than arriving in a kitchen and finding everything in chaos when you need to produce masterpieces for the clientele.

"You've definitely diversified your style," Sakura complemented her friend, recalling the different materials that she had tried while she had been visited. Tomoyo had visited her unexpectedly, bringing her both news of home and embroider her into another one of her lines.

"I think he's suspicious," the words rang true, bringing the conversation to a halt. Tomoyo let the silence reign through the phone connection as an arrival was announced. "He knows that everything I do is somewhat connected to you."

The door opened, the figure slipping through it and closing it behind him. He seemed determined for answers as his expression clearly reflected. Maybe enough time had passed to salvage a bit of the situation.

"I really don't care at the moment," Sakura replied, while the crew signaled that their work was done. "I'm not the same woman he once knew. There's no need to keep to the shadows any longer."

_-  
Please take me dancing tonight I've been all on my own  
You promised one day we could it's what you said on the phone  
I'm just a prisoner of love always hid from the light  
Take me dancing, please take me dancing tonight  
-_

"Sakura," the name reverberated through the loud room as she turned from her employees. The low rumble, familiar and haunting, claimed her attention as everything else disintegrated from view.

"Syaoran." Her eyes were wide, her expression of shook. Steadying herself, her hand came to rest below her abdomen, as a reflex. "Uh…"

He walked purposely into the emptying kitchen. The clatter of utensils and plates diminishing as the remaining employees put them away to their respective places and vacated.

His footsteps resonated inside her ears. Her eyes filling with the image she had missed for the past few months. He had haunted her dreams, her nightmares, even her waking.

"What?" it seemed to be the only thing she was capable of articulating as he stopped before her.

His hands came to rest over her cheeks, cradling her face gently as her breathing speed to greater heights. His features appeared sunk, his eyes limp of his usual boyish charm. Lines had appeared over his otherwise smooth forehead.

He'd never look so good to her as he appeared right now before her.

"Don't ever do that to me again," he whispered to her as he embraced her. Warmth seeped out and cradled their embrace as he buried his head against her soft hair.

Her insides quivered, a kick coming from within. It seemed that the growing life inside wanted to be part of the events that were happening outside of its cocoon.

Syaoran stiffened against her. He slowly parted the embrace, his hand settling over the round protrusion that was clearly shown with her maternity blouse. His fingers curled against the place he had felt the kick originate from, wonder reflected in his eyes.

Sakura steadied herself against his shoulders as the baby started to move within her once again. It felt somewhat painful to have something inside your body move as if practicing in a dojo.

"That's," it was his turn to appear flabbergasted. No words escaped his opened mouth as his articulation of language banished completely at the feeling of the small being that wanted to make itself known to the world.

"Do you know what..?" He left the question hanging as he lowered himself. His knees hit the floor, while his face came in front of her belly.

"A boy."

He directed his gaze toward her eyes, emotions running rampant. Sakura gasped, her breath catching at the sight.

"I'm sorry," his arms came around her legs, embracing her as silent tears ran over his cheeks. "I'm sorry for driving you away." He rocked lightly back and forth as her hands came to support her body against his shoulders.

"I decided to leave," she explained as she brushed the locks that fell over his eyes. No semblance of control could be achieved however. Still, the nerves in her fingers sang joyfully as they came in contact with his body. His hair felt as soft and wonderful as it had countless times before.

"I shouldn't have placed you in that situation in the first place."

"You seemed to have no choice."

"There's always the right choice," his voice seemed to crack. Sakura continued to soothe him, her feet screaming for release of the pressure they had sustained for the past few hours while she had worked.

"That's true," she admitted, her own admonitions and responsibility of the events that had happened replaying through her thoughts as they had the past few months. She had to think of the future now. She couldn't swallow herself in despair or depression against things that happened almost a lifetime ago. At least, that's how it all felt to her.

Glancing backwards, she spotted the chair she had been using to rest her aching feet. His hold had somewhat slackened, so she was able to slip through and taking two steps backward, she sat into bliss.

"You should stand."

"No," he almost shouted, his expression grim as she calmly observed him. "I need to be in my knees, asking for your forgiveness for all that I've put you through."

"I accepted the arrangement." Sakura replied as he rested his head against her thighs. "I didn't really know what I was getting myself into, but I said yes."

"There are so many things I regret," Syaoran shut his eyes as a leering pain pulled against his heart and crippled his throat. "I shouldn't have married Meiling and slowly shatter her hopes for our lives as husband and wife. I shouldn't have flaunted my love affairs to her eyes while she slowly prayed for release." His voice cracked as he recalled the bundle he had received from the nurse. The bundle that had contained the body of his dead daughter.

"I shouldn't have placed you as my mistress when in my heart I knew that you were so much more." She shushed him, rocking him as his hand preyed once again against her belly.

"What's done is done," she replied to his monologue and accusations. There were many decisions that they had taken that would have given a totally different outcome to their troubles. "I've stopped dwelling on those decisions of the past. I have a different priority that leads my life."

They looked into each other's eyes, lost inside the quiet currents that arouse. It had been like that since the start. Without breaking any contact, he stood from his position, his hands outward, presented as a stepping stone into a different unknown. Her own grasped his strongly, a message sent.

"Just don't shut me out of your life, please," Syaoran lightly kissed her temple as she stood from the seat with his help. "I know you don't need me for your life to have meaning, but mine clearly does."

"That was never my intention," she revealed, her eyes shinning as moisture gathered. Syaoran kissed each of her eyes, her tears absorbed into his lips.

"I love you Sakura," he told her, her hand grasped within his, and placed against his beating heart. The galloping rhythm reverberating from her fingers through her body, and into her own.

Standing on her tiptoes, she touched her lips to his. Her body awakened, as if from a long slumber, the familiar gathering of emotions and sensations erupting all over her body. Syaoran rested his forehead against her own as she pulled away.

"Please take me home," he said to her, his eyes closed as he felt her pull away and with her hands in his, pushed him forward toward the exit.

"Alright."

It was time to start again. This time though, they would both stand in front of the tumults of people that occupied their world, hand in hand, exposed to the world, and to the light.

* * *

I started this with an idea, and took it in a different direction entirely. It's sometimes uncomfortable when that happens, because the whole structure of what you're building up falls down around you. It seems like I always want to give a happy ending to my characters.

I've actually somewhat started on the fourth chapter of Long 9 Months, but I've hit some roadblocks. I've also had many ideas for one-shots, that are screaming to be put into the computer. I seem to be able to write something, but actually finishing it is taking me quite a while.

Thank you to all of my readers and reviewers. Thank you for your input and for spending your time reading my drabbles. Hopefully, I'll have the next chapter of Long 9 Months before next Friday, with other one-shots ready for posting.

Review button is here…

MS

-


End file.
